thE wheeL spinninG backwardS

These days I started sleeping even when I am sitting in my chair. Not because I don’t have any bed to sleep. But my late-night-sittings had increased considerably and during day time, the smallest of the opportunity drives me to a nap.

Naps bring day dreams! What a discovery. Phew! Naps are a part of life. Great men said life is a journey. A journey which starts from the unknown and which ends in unknown. It ends where it started.

Our life starts with our birth, continues with our childhood, teenage, youth, middle-age and old-age and finally ends with our death. What if the order of life is reversed? That is, if our life starts with death and one fine morning ends with our birth! Sounds amazing (awkward) eh? We made this idea into a skit for our departmental annual cultural festival during engineering days. Fortunately or unfortunately it was me who wrote its screenplay and directed the stuff which in due course had shown it’s after effect as well. We could've started rotten egg business that day itself ;-).

One fine morning, you open your eyes hearing the thumping sound of a plow. Yeah it comes from somewhere above. It’s all darkness around and suddenly your womb (coffin) opens for the sunlight. Someone pulls you out from it and there starts your journey of life.

Now, the first cry! Well here the choice is yours. You can either cry or keep quiet like a "cho chweet" grandpa ;-)

You are taken to your home in a decorated vehicle with people around singing some songs. They call it elegy, you can call it lullaby. In your earlier stages of life, you are allowed to play with some small souls (your grand children) who are enjoying their last moments of life (yeah they are about to die)

Seasons passed and you entered into your middle ages. Today is the happiest day in your life. Today is the day you are going to retire (join?) into an organization. Today is the day you are going to stand on your own feet. Today is the day in your life on which you start a journey of boredom and monotony which may last for about 30 long years to come.

You don't remember when exactly you saw her for the first time. Was she there at the graveyard (your place of birth) when you were born? But one thing is sure, she was there with you through out your life, making food for you and consoling you during your hard times. Today, in a ceremony called marriage you are going to say good bye to her. Now onwards you are going to be alone. Bit painful right? If you want you can cry a bit (In normal life, after marriage the female is taken away from her family but here the male is taken away from his family!)

Wow! Life at college is cool! Life has been full of fun once you were thrown out from the company you were working, by a process called recruitment and started your college life with your convocation. Bunking classes, going for movies, go-karting, everything become a way of your life.

It is been quiet some time that you are studying. You had your post graduation, graduation, class 12, class 10 and had even done your KG. Academically there is nothing else to do now. What next? May be some peaceful life; the so called childhood; the best days of your life; without any worries; eating chocolates; crying for whatever coming your way.

But why clouds started hovering above your head. The day is nearing. It is inevitable. God hasn’t given you the choice to stop this. You are taken to the hospital. You are wrapped in white cloth. You are not able to move. You are not strong enough to stop them. You badly wanted to stop this. And you started crying. You struggle for your life. Darkness filling around; and finally, it ended...

This sentence struck me when I heard it for the first time. It goes like this. "When you were born, everyone around you was smiling and you alone were crying. Live a life in such a way that when you die, everyone else would be crying and you alone would be (smiling)". But to be frank I don't want this to happen. I prefer no one to cry for me when I die. After all, this journey called life is just about enjoying its each and every moment right. Then, why crying?

The phone rang and my nap got spoiled. To hell with the phone, I thought.

PS: The idea of the reverse sequence of life was first told by some eminent personality. I don’t remember his name. But still I am acknowledging that unknown author.

jithU = jithU + 1

It was almost midnight and I woke up hearing a loud noise. Some one was knocking on the door. From the sound, it was obvious that there was more than one person outside. I woke up in half sleep and opened the door. Flash lights went off and the gang outside caught me by my hands. They pulled me outside and I was taken towards the brick wall.

I wondered what they were going to do with me. Two of them continued to hold me and the rest moved backward. There was a burning candle on top of something, at a distance. I struggled to reach the candle. But the firm grip of the two stopped me and I couldn’t move atleast an inch ahead. Flash lights shoot off. I tried and tried, got tired and finally gave up.

The two of them receded and another four from the gang came towards me. Two of them hold my two hands and the other two hold my legs and pulled me up and then I found myself in the air, horizontal to the ground. Then only I realized that there was a sizeable crowd in front of me. Ten! Twenty! Thirty! Forty! Was there even more?

They were all shouting at me. I tried several times to release myself from the hands which hold me. But it all ended in vain.

“By the power of?” Some one from the gang yelled and someone else kicked my butt to red.

“Rekha!” I screamed all of a sudden. I didn’t know from where this word came to my mouth that time.

They took me a little further, towards the candle light. Flash lights show themselves again.

“By the power of?” I heard it once again. This time, it was a whack with a sneaker.

“Smitha!” This word followed the sound and I was moved a little further.

With every such question, a girl’s name came out from my mouth and I was moved more and more towards the candle. Whacks, kicks, slaps etc enriched my back.

When I was some what close to the candle, someone ordered me to blow off the candle. I tried but the candle was just outside my reach. After a lot of effort and when I was almost tired, some mercy soul pushed me ahead.

The clock had just passed 12 am. And finally, I made it! I blew off the candle!

“Happy birthday to you”
“Happy birthday to you”
“Happy birthday dear (Jithu)”
“Happy birthday to you”

The crowd was singing, rather saying, in one voice!

Then I realized that the entire ordeal I went through for about fifteen minutes was for my mistake of being born! But yeah, it was fun! :-)

Vanishing Childhood

“Vinu, wake up my dear, mamma is going to office.”

His mom’s voice used to be the morning alarm for Vinu.

“Have your break-fast which is kept on the dining table. Don’t forget to drink the milk. Yesterday you didn’t drink it and it was wasted.”

By the time he wakes up from his bed, Vinu’s pop and mom would have left for their offices. The maid would have started her work in the kitchen. Though Vinu is only three years old, for him, time immemorial this has been the routine.

Straight from the bed he went to the window of his bedroom to have a look at the world outside. The sun was already up and running and so do the crowd in the roads outside.

Their flat was located in one of the busiest corners of the city. There was no space left in the city. So less so that even the buildings found it very difficult to stand up. There weren’t any independent houses with lawn outside but only flats with balconies of the size adequate only to hold some junk, two three flower pots and a rope to hang the clothes.

Vinu never went outside for playing. There were't any free spaces for him to play. In fact the case was the same for any other child in the city. He used to see cartoons, played with the pokemons and did some artistic works on the bed sheet. Very rarely only he saw his father and mother. At first he felt sad. But then, even at that small age, he kind of adjusted with it.

Once, his cousin from the village came to Vinu’s house for a visit. Vinu was amazed by the stories he told. He said they have a very large open space in front of their house. They have very big fields. He even explained its size to Vinu. He said it would be covering a distance equivalent to that from his flat to the junction nearby. Vinu became extremely jealous hearing all these things. He even presented the topic to his parents thinking that they all would go and stay in the village. But his pop’s and mom’s job was in the city and they said they will be falling short of food and toys. And he agreed to them.

Vinu looked out through the steel grid attached to the window. In one of the branches of the lean teak tree which stood beside the flat, he saw a bird-couple with their small kids. The kids were about to fly and the birds were helping them learn flying. While he was observing this, one of the small ones took off from the branch. Its parents helped it to fly towards the open sky, towards freedom. And the other ones followed.

Vinu watched all these carefully. He didn’t feel much about the happenings. In fact he was so young to think about those. To think about growing up in the open world, to think about doing things he liked, to think about playing in the open space, to think about how his childhood is being killed inside the four walls of a flat. Only thing which was there in his mind was his mom’s words.

“Have your break-fast which is kept on the dining table. Don’t forget to drink the milk. Yesterday you didn’t drink it and it was wasted.”

He ran towards the dining table to drink the milk. He didn’t know that the milk was already frozen.

thE faireR seX

#include universal_disclaimers.h
I was watching National Geographic Channel which was showing some documentary about animal life that this thought came to my mind, once again, after such a long time. It used to be one of our favorite discussion topics during engineering days and the absence of the discussing gang somehow had killed those discussions. Sorry, I haven’t mentioned till now, what this so called topic is. Carrying forward the fairer assumption you got from the heading of this post, and living up to its expectations, it is nothing but, who is the fairer sex? Male or female? Men or women?

Let the story start from the birds and animals because they were the first inhabitants of planet earth before humans. Let it end with humans because that is where the basis of this thought lies.

If we look around us and observe the nature for a while, there is something which doesn’t go without attention. Its beauty! Beautiful flowers, beautiful birds and beautiful animals! But hey, there is a small problem! All these birds or animals are not beautiful. In fact only half of them are beautiful. Always one class of birds or animals is more beautiful than the other. In birds and animals, this class is the Male! To be frank, I am not becoming chauvinistic. Instead I am trying to look at this case with a neutral stand point.

Well, for a bird or an animal beauty is given by nature to attract their female mate.

The cosmetics industry of India had a size of Rs. 126 billion (Rs. 12,600 crores) in 2001 with 8.7% growth rate. By this rate it would have grown to Rs. 175 billion in 2005. And who are the users of cosmetics, females! I know this is not entirely true, hence let me have an estimate of 90% of this usage being done by women. This story is similar world-wide.

Here I find a problem. When it comes to humans, who are the beautiful class? Men or women?

By the law of the nature, extending from the case of birds and animals, it has to be men. Does nature got it wrong in the case of humans? Or does it deliberately put it the other way round when it came to humans?

But nature played a mysterious role here. It didn’t give man or woman, the brilliant colors of a male bird, the long tusk of a he-elephant etc as the differentiating factors denoting beauty. Or in the case of humans, the definition itself of beauty went wrong?

During the previous sessions, we had our own view points and opinions. I am inviting you to take part in this discussion. What do you feel about this? Who exactly is the fairer sex? Men or women?

PS: These are my own views and are not intended to hurt anyone's feelings. I want to give a thought as to why this happened in the case of humans. On a much more personal note, I believe that women are indeed the fairer sex, the beautiful class. But that should not stop me from finding out the reason, right?

An Untold Autobiography

I was alone in the Eden on earth. Small-small dreams filled my days and I spent my time patiently waiting for my love to come. My love, my prince charming; he would be the strongest in a million. He will embrace me with all the passion. I know he will turn up here one day and then my loneliness will come to an end.

I dreamed about building a small house near this river. We will have one child. She will be the most beautiful girl in this world. But now I am alone, waiting for my love to come.

Days passed and the faith in me grew stronger. Then a day came. I had never seen such a day before. Everything was trembling around. The earth quaked. Birds flew away. Animals ran and hide in their caves. And then, there was a landslide.

In the peak of the tremor, I saw my prince charming being carried, down the river, by the landslide. He was fortunate enough to ground on the river-side. The moment he saw me, he seemed to have reinvigorated from the sufferings he had. Then he embraced me. In front of the world around us and we became one.

Seasons passed. Like two souls in one body, we lived happily in the Eden on earth. I told him about my dreams and he agreed to fulfill those. He said he will take me to a distant place. A place which is full of colorful flowers, blue sky, beautiful birds and above all, a place where there would be people like me. I was so excited.

We listened to the voices coming from that distant land. Once I heard a rough voice, “Definitely, if a girl child!”

It was a moody afternoon. Hearing a loud noise I woke up suddenly. It was from a distance. The noise was growing louder and louder and my ears started paining. Something was coming towards me. It was a machine. It was destroying everything on its way. I ran for my life; as quickly as I could. But it was following me.

Finally it caught me. I struggled for my breath in its strong grip. My body was becoming weak. Before the world around me turned to darkness, I heard a word, “MTP”.

PS: MTP – Medical Termination of Pregnancy
Courtesy: My friend Aravind Nair, who once put this idea into a beautiful poem.