Monday, September 12, 2005

What Diary Pages Said

16. Jan. 97
I don’t know when exactly I noticed her for the first time. But one thing I know. After that I couldn’t refrain myself from seeing her again...

It all started on a December; the December of 1997. I always had my own things to do in life. Never ever did it confine to loving a girl; rather I believed it shouldn't. I always felt like they are the species that truly are from Venus. So near, yet so far...

My college life always started in the college bus. I had a permanent seat in the bus. The seat next to the door! I managed to get that seat because I got into the college bus from its first stop itself. I preferred a lonely journey, a journey without talking to anyone. There was a reason for that. Even though the bus went through the same places everyday, I always found something different in those places and I wanted to enjoy those differences to the maximum. And then I saw her one day...

She was an ordinary girl. Simple, less talkative, big eyes, always looking outside the bus as I did... I don’t know what in her attracted me so much. Yes, something was there in her, which caught my mind. She never got to sit as she embarked on the bus from one of its last stops.

[[It was a cozy afternoon and Hari continued turning his diary pages. On that week-end, on a break from his hectic job, he had decided to clean up his flat. He came across this old diary of himself from one of his suitcases]]

17. Jan. 97
I didn’t get the college bus today. There is a cultural event going on in the college. I didn’t participate in any of those events but I should have. I couldn’t see her today. But that doesn’t make any difference to her right...

18. Jan. 97
Thank God, I got the college bus today. She was at the front end of the bus. I had a direct view of her. Sometimes our eyes collided. I wanted to smile but I didn’t, rather I couldn’t.

21. Jan. 97
I got the college bus today. I saw her at her bus stop. Her eyes seemed to have longing for something. May God bless me to have a nice session with her tomorrow! May God bless me to write something which my mind wants, on the next page of this diary!

22. Jan. 97
I got the college bus today. But somehow she missed it. After reaching my classroom, I went to the college lobby. I saw her coming from the main gate. She didn’t even notice me. Tomorrow I have to talk to her for sure. It is time for that.

23. Jan. 97
She missed the college bus today as well. At the college, she was looking great in that light blue dress. I wanted to tell her that. There was a strike in the college today. Everyone went home after the first hour. So I couldn’t see her in the return bus.

24. Jan. 97
I got the college bus today. She was standing near me. Divya, S4 Electrical; read the file she hold near her chest. During lunch break I went for a walk with one of my friends to the Electrical department. But...

25. Jan. 97
In the evening bus, I put my bag on a seat and guess what happened when I returned to my seat after having a lemon juice? Her friend was sitting next to my seat and she was standing beside her friend. Wow! That was so unexpected. I talked with her friend for quite sometime. ‘Ma Chérie’ was listening to us.

28. Jan. 97
The bus was too crowded today. She was there near my seat finding it difficult to stand in the crowd. I pointed towards her bag. She gave it to me to keep it. God, I got a start and I smiled at her for a return smile. Man! What a smile it was! It took me away with it!

29. Jan. 97
Today was the greatest day in my life. The bus conductor sitting next to me went to the front end of the bus due to some reason. That was all I needed. She sat near me. I asked her her name, her branch, her school and what ever was possible in those 20 minutes. Thank God! That was all that I needed...


25. Mar. 97
Today’s exam was good. Two more to go now. Next month I am going to join a company in which I was placed during campus recruitments. I am going to live a life which I have dreamed so long; to stand on my own feet; to earn something of my own. But God, I really want her in my life. I want to propose her. I bought this small gift for her. Tomorrow I am going to give it to her. Please tell me something to write in this letter...

“I don’t know when exactly I noticed you for the first time. But one thing I know. After that I couldn’t refrain myself from seeing you again. In two days I am going to say good bye to this college. After that everything pertaining to this college will be nothing but a piece of memory in my mind. I want to make my otherwise dry life happy. I want you in my life which otherwise remain dry. My dear Divya, I can’t think of any other words to convey you my feelings than ‘I Love You’!”

26. Mar. 97
I went to the college mainly to give her the gift and then to write my penultimate exam. God! But why didn’t she come to college today? Later I came to know that she didn’t have an exam today. Tomorrow is the only day left with me. I have to propose her tomorrow itself. Yes. I will...

27. Mar. 97
Today was my last day in the college. My four years of technical education has come to an end. She had an exam today. But... Somehow I couldn’t see her... All of my friends stayed back after the exams; on our last day. We shared our experiences and in between I, the duffer, the moron, missed her. I missed my life... How could I do that? I don’t know I will ever meet her again. Three days and then I’m going to go to Mumbai. Oh my God! I don't know what to do now! I lost her... I lost everything...

[[Hari couldn’t turn the pages further. The diary was quivering in his hands. He took the small gift which was there inside the suitcase along with the diary. It was a nicely wrapped box. A small piece of paper was stick on its side.]]

It read, “To Divya, With Love!”


Divya said...

And probably she had a diary with pages written about how she wished that he had talked to her....told her things she wanted to she had looked for him on the day of their last exam n not found him....probably she still reads her diary and wonders about him.
Good one.

Jithu said...

> divya
what an amazing coincidence it is... i first put the name Vidya to the girl. i didnt like that name. then i put Divya as her name.. i republished my blog and saw ur comment!!! :-))

hmm.. quite possible.. bt u know everything like that happens in stories than in real life ;-)

Jiby said...

nice one...will feel like going back home and digging out my diary from the college days...sadly i tore out the best parts...pages pertaining to crushes and a major fight with my best pals coz my sis and friends had a habit of snooping thru my room 4 incriminating evidence!

kickassso said...

:)) likewise...Mine 's got rather Cryptic comments - thats all. but my friends did keep asking me about a particular entry on July 18 Finally they found Out and made a celebration out of it.In my experience It's better to have loved and not been loved cos then your memories will always be sweet; unlike when youve loved and lost...for then the heart dies and withers away...never to blossom again like its previous self.I think it is better to say "tis better to have loved and not told rather than to have never loved"

tangy said...

u made up all dat...and i thot it was ur true story...but really vry interestin' :)

>|' ; '| said...

only fools write diaries ( no offence to any one out there, just a statement of facts )
it compromises your life when caught by the wrong hands...maybe i am paranoid cos i have been the 'wrong hands' once.

Jithu said...

> jiby
thnx yaar.. ha ha thts cool! so it evoked certain soft areas of ur mind i guess! :-) hmm.. keepin out diary notes away frm others is bit a problem..

> kickasso
ha ha.. even i did the same one.. when i was in pre-degree, i took French as my second language and for a while i wrote diary notes in French so as to prevent others from reading it (sad part is now i myself find it difficult to understand that ;-)). then for a few days i wrote diary notes in greek.. well not greek exactly. it was english using greek alphabets :-) kya kya karna padta hein.. hein na ;-))

> tangy
hmm.. :-) thnk u... :-)

> poison
hmm.. yeah getting caught thingy holds (grrr.. u were a wrong hand once!).. bt abt writing diaries, i may beg to differ.. well, not because i myself write diary, but bcoz of the fact that it makes u remember ur past. it acts as a feedback to correct ur mistakes.. after all when u are alone and have nothing else to do, there is nothing as refreshing as going thru those old pages.. really.. have a try :-)

>|' ; '| said...

i need to get an unbreakable encrypting software before i start chronicling my life :)

silverine said...

Beautifully written. Loved this post. Opportunities in life do not come by more than once I guess.

MadV said...

I think somehow it is strongly related to your life. Written very well. Hmm.. I wish if I too could write something like that. J

divya said...

well i opened ur page and went straight down to the just above the comments i had seen to vidya with love last night n now its suddenly divya.....i was just wondering wat happened....hehe....
btw i thought ke this was a story.....??!! anyways things like this do happen in real life n not just in stories....
well written....

Jithu said...

> poison
u knw wt human mind is the greatest encrypting machine. one of my friends used to write diary notes which for others was a set of words w/o any correlation.. bt he knew wt he has written. u can adopt something like that.. which wud be uncrackable by anything in this world..

> silverine
thanx mam! yup chances wont come twice or wait once... :-) v shud act as if it is the last chance..

> madV
hmmm.. thts not fair.. i mean hw dare u to say tht its me.. :-)) btw dont write anything like this coz this had a sad ending..

> divya
ha ha.. yup even i was stuck for a while.. really! hmmm... wt u thought is true.. things like this do happen bt things like u have commented (she also thinking in a similar way) may not happen in real life i meant... :-)) i didnt like the name Vidya.. not a romantic name (and i hate acads!) thts y i changed it..

btw hope u had a blast on ur HBD!!

venus said...

very nice script jithu!
I believe, youth now is quite bolder, i think, things would go much faster than what it shows here.

flutteringeyes said...

Beautifully written.....ya...a typical story.....always get one of those in e-mails

hope and love said...

hhhmmm paradise lost..
thats life..

Jithu said...

> venus
thnx yaar! yeah things happen pretty fast these days.. ends as well.. :-)

> flutteringeyes
thank you.. hmm.. so there are lots of heart-broken ppl arnd..

> HnL
hmmmmmm... yeah!! :-((

Geo said...

bhu hahahhahahahhaha....
man, i am a bit late to spot this ;_))

ok... so this one is about vidya...
what abt
etc etc...

bhu hahahahhahahaha

Jithu said...

> geo
(shavam!!) u seems to know the names all the film stars!! but dont u think u missed a FEW names! :-))

Geo said...

abbe saaala...

i purposefully chose look-a-like-names to save your face... you want me to put the actual names or what?

Bhu hahahhahahahahha

PS: go check my latest post. smthng which u wudnt have expected ;-)

Jithu said...

> geo
oh my God!! so concerned!! hmmm.. lemme check that... :-))

Hima said...

intresting read... :)

silverine said...

@ Geo: That was quite a looooong list. Are you sure it wasn't the line up for Miss India 2005? LOL
@Jithu: Wow u were quite a gal magnet!!!

Jithu said...

> hima
thank you... :-))

> silverine
he he.. i think he copied that list from one such contest..

magnet!!! njan!!! athe athe.. ente magnetic power anusarichu listinte neelam ithrayonnum alla kanendathu ;-)))

Geo said...

@ silverine : Magnet is not the rite word to describe Jithu when it comes to you-know-what... ;_) Trust me, his adventures like this posted one are countless ;_)
@Jithu : I am trying hard to suppress my temptation of appending the list. ;_) You better be thankful ;_)))

Matter of Choice said...

beautifully written!!

Jithu said...

> geo
thnx.. :-)

> matter of choice
thanx man!!